There Should Be A Map
I wonder if you can write feelings out. There should be a map, markers to keep me on the right path - something to explain where the trail is leading us, I am in a wilderness I have never been in before. Every path seems to fade into the forest and I cannot find any markers, no way to define the right way to go. How do people do this - for gods sake. This has to be the cruelest moment of loving - I have no idea how to be in these moments - I want them to last forever and be over at the same time. This time right now with Chewie is so raw and full, I can’t put any more inside me and can’t get enough either. I can’t play these feelings out on a piano to make more room in my soul. Chewie has become so afraid of the vibrations from the piano that he used to sleep under when I played Rachmaninov or Beethoven or Bach or Chopin - now his teeth chatter and he shakes. So I stopped playing. It is nothing to stop this to keep him comfortable. He has given me everything - everything
