Leaving Empty Spaces

I watched Schmadios as her Mom - goop and all, pushed her into the world.  She and her brother Grover were the only two kittens in the litter.  When Schmadios joined us on this side of the womb I remember as Heide G took care to help the momma cat - Sunberry get everyone cleaned and breathing, Sid looked down and announced "that's it there are no more, adios schmadios and that's your name. "   

Six months later I spent the night at Sid and Heide's place.   She was destined to be my cat, just waiting until I had a place where I could take her.   Schamdios had gotten into a bag of cotton balls with her mom and the other cats in the house.  Schmadios ingested a few.   That night she slept at my pillow.  Sweet girl that she was - and all night long, she would patiently earp up a cotton ball next to my ear every hour or so.  OMG!  Never in distress, she would just sputter a bit until I was awake enough to take a look and then she would plop out a cotton ball - how that tiny mouth could get that from her gut to my pillow is beyond me - but it was all quite neat.  And that is how Schmadios was in her life.  

She never needed much and got along just fine.  She loved a lap, a soft pillow, the sunshine or a warm radiator.  She never had health concern her whole life - which I can remember anyway.  She was a prolific producer of hairballs.  She was friendly to everyone but belonged to no one.  She lived with many cats and dogs and traveled well.  She was fine with everyone but did prefer that the doodles would practice some better manners.  

Schmadios would often chatter at me when I came home from work.  When I called her, no matter where I was, she would wake up, squeak and coming trotting to me - not meandering, she came running.  How could you ask for more from cat?  My favorite thing to do with Schmadios was to pick her up and she would snuggle into and brush her head against my hair and then lay her head on my shoulder and purr.  She would let me cradle her on her back like a baby and rub her tummy.  

She was not afraid of the dogs and traveled through them and with them and by them.  She slept close to them and close to us, sometimes between us.  Gromit had finally stopped looking for Tiace.  Yesterday we came home from the final vet visit without Schmdios and he sniffed the empty crate and then ran upstairs immediately looking for Schmadios. 

I took him to the dog park and when we came home he ran upstairs again.  Ugh - a lump in my throat just thinking about it - As we went to bed last night he just laid and moped at the top of the stairs in front of the cat room, door open for the first time since we have lived in this house.  The room cleaned and contents removed - no litter box, or cat food, or scoop, or scattered litter for that matter.     I sat on the floor in the bedroom, looked at Gromit, and he came in with me and plopped down and laid his head on my lap and sighed.  I don't know if it is projection - I know I am sad.  It was much much too soon to lose Schmadios.  I just never thought we would lose her and certainly not so soon after Tiace.   

Gromit and Schmadios shared an interesting respect for each other.  They both shared a need for space and did not like too much attention - adoration was okay in small doses.  True for the both of them.  They would sleep together in the guest room in the sun - that was good for them - that was their time together.  They didn't need to fill empty spaces; it was enough to share the time together.