The Game of Human Checkers

Kristin and I met over the phone while I was in Antarctica. I had been given a leave of absence from my drop in center job to work on the ice - kind of a sabbatical so to speak. When it was time to start preparing to return I called and talked to this new coordinator who was hired and started a week after I left.

When I returned from the ice and started working at the drop in center again, I met Kristin in person. While I was gone there had been some good changes at the center - staff actually showed up for work when they were scheduled. Before I left I co facilitated a support group for GLBT folks with serious mental illness. The other facilitator was a man who was gay and a fabulous social worker. When I returned there was someone else who could facilitate the group with me - Kristin.

Within a week though, I watched a gunman fire a few rounds in front of my office window at someone across the street. After the first shot went off, I grabbed the phone and dialed 911 and sat on the line listening to a few more shots go off and the ringing on 911, there was no answer on the other end. I went outside to make sure no clients were hurt and the police were there and one man was lying quiet on the sidewalk. There was no blood so I don't think he actually had been shot but he was unconscious for sure. Anyway, I hadn't been scared for about six months while I was on the ice. I bitterly remembered the energy that I would need to again access to stay safe in this neighborhood - the alertness and constant seeing people without looking at them when I biked into work or walked in the neighborhood. I lasted three more weeks and a series of things just kind of brought me to the conclusion that I was done with this work - I was done surviving. I resigned and said that I would continue working until they found someone to replace me. I made plans to return to Antarctica.

As the time approached for me to leave Kristin asked me what I would like to do for a going away event. I felt pretty strongly that this place and my coworkers had said goodbye and provided me enough parties and gifts when I went to the ice. I suggested human checkers out in the parking lot - everyone could participate but it would be simple and we could do it at lunch. She asked me how that worked and I told her I had no idea but it sounded good. I didn't think anymore of it after our conversation. Then the my last day I was called to her office and we went out the back door and there in the parking lot on a beautiful June afternoon was a huge checkboard drawn in chalk and all the staff from the drop in center and day treatment program. We picked teams and decided who was red and who was black and made up a game of human checkers.

I was very charmed by the way she remembered and actually made the Human Checkers game happen. Once I had resigned I was free to be charmed by Kristin. Until then I was pretty much anti- authority...LOL! We started dating and the rest is history. We did a lot of unusual things our first year. I left to go to Antarctica and while I was on the ice she and I bought a house together - one I had never seen. She sent me pictures but they never got to the ice because was on my way home early to help my friend who needed a kidney and crossed paths with the photos while I was in the air. I did the kidney thing and then we went to Disney World. We went to the boundary waters with my friends Molly and Jeff - we kayaked the Apostle Islands with friends, we merged our four cats together and got our first dog together - Rowdy Ann. We started sharing holidays with two families.

There was more charm to come - for my 40th birthday she organized a party with my friends and family and a new piano for me and my dear friends who had moved to Maine flew home for the party. She has always tended the fires at our house. We traveled to Europe for our 10th anniversary. She put a skylight in our attic for me at our old house and had special cabinets built at my request in our renovated attic space. She flew to Indiana to pick up Gromit and flew him home as he screeched the entire way on the plane in his crate. She has tolerated my dog freakness. She sat through every painful recital I have had at MacPhail. She participated in the cookie decorating parties I started with my neices every Christmas and has turned into a 16 child cookie party. She never blinked at having my niece and brother live with us when they needed a room for a while. The real charm is the every day part though...the part where I realize I get to live with her every day - her sense of humor her creativity and her steadiness.

We shared the beginnings of Chewie and Gromit together. They have joined in our own family live creature checker game - Gromit was crowned very early in his life and much prefers the life of leisure and salon conversations. Chewie wouldn't let anyone crown him - he is much too loyal to be impressed by the throne of being a pet - he is truly one of the working class. It is very fun to have two dogs but it is most fun to be able to share it with Kristin.