If Big BIrd Had A Dog....
I once worked with a large group of therapists. This was during my other career - the one in human services. The therapists, as you can imagine, were a kind bunch who knew how to laugh and maintain the human compassion needed to help folks from all walks of life. Sure, everyone has their quirks and this group was full of individuals and I adored that about working with them.
One of my favorite people to chat with was a warm woman who was also had technical aptitude. I mention the technical aptitude because that was our connection. She had a teenage daughter, a second husband and a beautiful white shepherd dog.
One day she saw a picture of Rowdy Ann on my desk. Rowdy, our beloved black lab mix, has long since gone to the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. I do not remember exactly how the conversation went ....She probably made a comment about Rowdy and her soft face. I likely explained that Rowdy was soft but she wasn't a snuggler. Rowdy did give the sweetest little kisses and would accept a soft pet and neck scratch in return.
She and I talked dogs a bit more and then she looked at me kind of sheepishly. She said she realized that she occasionally gives her daughter a mom kiss - goodbye or goodnight, and kissed her husband a few times a day, but she said she actually kissed her dog more than anyone else in her life. Her dog just brought out the affection in her. We laughed and of course I understood what she meant.
When Gromit first arrived at our house he was a squeaky little white mass of fur sandwiched between a gigantic black polar bear nose and four black padded huge paws. He was floppy from the start. While he was still small enough, after he had played himself into a frenzy, I would pick him up and he would flop down and stretch himself across my lap on the chair. He would fall deeply asleep with the black nose nuzzled into my neck and his big back paws resting in my arm.
I loved those early days. Don't get me wrong, he was a maniac of a puppy but when he was sweet he was oh so sweet. He wanted only to be with us and to play at the dog park and run, run run. He loved running only second to us - I think?!
I will never know for sure why that love of affection changed. We had some early training classes that were not the right methodology for Gromit. I wish there was a way to take those back but we cannot. We were trying to trust the instructors methods and not our own intuition. We did not understand dog language the way we do today. Each of the three different options we tried had only the sincerest of good intentions for puppies staying in their homes and being good community members. The methods likely were good for other dogs but for Gromit they just did not work.
We just did not get the sensitivity side as quickly as we needed to see it. As soon as we did we were able to work with it. I think we lost something with Gromit and we have never again been able to get him to accept much physical attention. And, unfortunately, in one of the classes were sternly told to NEVER EVER play tug with your dog. So Gromit never learned how to interact with toy with us. He loves a good game, a good puzzle and to show off his cleverness. It was an injustice to him that we did not understand how to play with him more as a puppy.
So after causing him a bit of unintentional stress, today we try to be better about respecting his physical space needs. Gromit and all his floppiness just makes me want to wrap my arms around him and give him a big bear hug. He doesn't want a big honkin' bear hug. You can tell by the way he turns his head as far away from you as he can when you reach your arms around him. After years of giving him his space he has started to do things like jump on the bed and snooze for a few minutes on my pillow. He waits to eat breakfast until he has gotten a scratch on his ear or kiss on his head - like he actually wants this again - we don't ask him for it he just won't eat until we have 'loved' him up a bit.
When Annelise at Agile Canines noticed and called out the sensitivity of Gromit I knew I had found a home for our team building and training. And so it went, we started learning how to play clicker games like leave it, go to your mat, and walk on a loose leash. We shaped a trick for making toast with a play toaster. Gromit used his big black nose for pushing the toaster button down. When Gromit got a trick he was so pleased - his sit was so pretty and his face so kind when he understood the game. He would offer up all kinds of behaviors for clicker training and totally get into trying to figure out what we were shaping. When Gromit played his own games during training we laughed and with gentleness worked on how to hold his attention. And we gradually understood the difference between a game and stress or pain. So important in building trust with Gromit.
Training me was probably another story. It was like Sesame Street for dog people in our first few classes. I had to practice clicking at the right time. To this day when I am shaping a new behavior, I will sometimes hand off the clicker to someone with a faster response time. It helps with two things - making sure my criteria is defined well enough, and that the click is objective and consistent. I just hand out the treats.
WIth all our work, I have talked endlessly about Gromit's reactiveness but the truth is that behavior occurs only about 5% of the time. The rest of his time - he is this big floppy white dog who is happy and clunky and that everyone at the dog park wants to ask about because he is the biggest labradoodle they have ever met. If Big BIrd had a dog it surely would have been Gromit.
Like Big Bird, he doesn't think of himself as big, I don't think but he is often reminded of it. People at the dog park giggle when he bounds over to them. Just like big bird they size him up with a grin. Little kids sometimes hide under their parent's long arm and peek around at him. He just swings by children seemingly understanding their fear.
When Big Bird talks everyone turns around and looks. I think it is because Big Bird has that voice that makes you wonder if he is a boy or girl. Really, it is more likely that it is that big beak and the loudness of Big Bird. Gromit has that high pitched bark that makes everyone turn around. He fast and snappy with his barks when he is excited. I think everyone turns around and pays attention to Gromit because he is so dramatic and it sounds so urgent.
Gromit is always looking for a dog that is fast and smart and has a smile on their face. Most of the time he walks around and greets other dogs happily with a sniff or a play bow - he likes to play games and he loves to run. He greets a dogs that run fast, have wheels, are older, big or small - and he greets them all with a unique greeting meant only for that dog. I think Big Bird would greet all children from all walks of life and places - remember his first visit to China where he traveled and made a cool video? Gromit isn't perfect but he does try hard and learns with each dog he meets. Every once in a while he will greet a dog that runs away in fear - he doesn't run after them. If a dog growls he will run back to me.
Gromit is soft and traipses along and sometimes has a worry but most of the time not a worry. He will help out however he can, and often has ideas that are floating around and waiting to be acted on until I am in bed fast asleep.
It is only in the morning when the garbage can has been drug out of the pantry or the spatula from the stove is lying on the floor under my piano or cans of empty cat food are stacked in the office - that I realize Gromit thought we were playing a game and I hope he wasn't lonely playing alone. Big Bird didn't play alone and neither should Gromit!
One of my favorite people to chat with was a warm woman who was also had technical aptitude. I mention the technical aptitude because that was our connection. She had a teenage daughter, a second husband and a beautiful white shepherd dog.
One day she saw a picture of Rowdy Ann on my desk. Rowdy, our beloved black lab mix, has long since gone to the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. I do not remember exactly how the conversation went ....She probably made a comment about Rowdy and her soft face. I likely explained that Rowdy was soft but she wasn't a snuggler. Rowdy did give the sweetest little kisses and would accept a soft pet and neck scratch in return.
She and I talked dogs a bit more and then she looked at me kind of sheepishly. She said she realized that she occasionally gives her daughter a mom kiss - goodbye or goodnight, and kissed her husband a few times a day, but she said she actually kissed her dog more than anyone else in her life. Her dog just brought out the affection in her. We laughed and of course I understood what she meant.
When Gromit first arrived at our house he was a squeaky little white mass of fur sandwiched between a gigantic black polar bear nose and four black padded huge paws. He was floppy from the start. While he was still small enough, after he had played himself into a frenzy, I would pick him up and he would flop down and stretch himself across my lap on the chair. He would fall deeply asleep with the black nose nuzzled into my neck and his big back paws resting in my arm.
I loved those early days. Don't get me wrong, he was a maniac of a puppy but when he was sweet he was oh so sweet. He wanted only to be with us and to play at the dog park and run, run run. He loved running only second to us - I think?!
I will never know for sure why that love of affection changed. We had some early training classes that were not the right methodology for Gromit. I wish there was a way to take those back but we cannot. We were trying to trust the instructors methods and not our own intuition. We did not understand dog language the way we do today. Each of the three different options we tried had only the sincerest of good intentions for puppies staying in their homes and being good community members. The methods likely were good for other dogs but for Gromit they just did not work.
We just did not get the sensitivity side as quickly as we needed to see it. As soon as we did we were able to work with it. I think we lost something with Gromit and we have never again been able to get him to accept much physical attention. And, unfortunately, in one of the classes were sternly told to NEVER EVER play tug with your dog. So Gromit never learned how to interact with toy with us. He loves a good game, a good puzzle and to show off his cleverness. It was an injustice to him that we did not understand how to play with him more as a puppy.
So after causing him a bit of unintentional stress, today we try to be better about respecting his physical space needs. Gromit and all his floppiness just makes me want to wrap my arms around him and give him a big bear hug. He doesn't want a big honkin' bear hug. You can tell by the way he turns his head as far away from you as he can when you reach your arms around him. After years of giving him his space he has started to do things like jump on the bed and snooze for a few minutes on my pillow. He waits to eat breakfast until he has gotten a scratch on his ear or kiss on his head - like he actually wants this again - we don't ask him for it he just won't eat until we have 'loved' him up a bit.
When Annelise at Agile Canines noticed and called out the sensitivity of Gromit I knew I had found a home for our team building and training. And so it went, we started learning how to play clicker games like leave it, go to your mat, and walk on a loose leash. We shaped a trick for making toast with a play toaster. Gromit used his big black nose for pushing the toaster button down. When Gromit got a trick he was so pleased - his sit was so pretty and his face so kind when he understood the game. He would offer up all kinds of behaviors for clicker training and totally get into trying to figure out what we were shaping. When Gromit played his own games during training we laughed and with gentleness worked on how to hold his attention. And we gradually understood the difference between a game and stress or pain. So important in building trust with Gromit.
Training me was probably another story. It was like Sesame Street for dog people in our first few classes. I had to practice clicking at the right time. To this day when I am shaping a new behavior, I will sometimes hand off the clicker to someone with a faster response time. It helps with two things - making sure my criteria is defined well enough, and that the click is objective and consistent. I just hand out the treats.
WIth all our work, I have talked endlessly about Gromit's reactiveness but the truth is that behavior occurs only about 5% of the time. The rest of his time - he is this big floppy white dog who is happy and clunky and that everyone at the dog park wants to ask about because he is the biggest labradoodle they have ever met. If Big BIrd had a dog it surely would have been Gromit.
Like Big Bird, he doesn't think of himself as big, I don't think but he is often reminded of it. People at the dog park giggle when he bounds over to them. Just like big bird they size him up with a grin. Little kids sometimes hide under their parent's long arm and peek around at him. He just swings by children seemingly understanding their fear.
When Big Bird talks everyone turns around and looks. I think it is because Big Bird has that voice that makes you wonder if he is a boy or girl. Really, it is more likely that it is that big beak and the loudness of Big Bird. Gromit has that high pitched bark that makes everyone turn around. He fast and snappy with his barks when he is excited. I think everyone turns around and pays attention to Gromit because he is so dramatic and it sounds so urgent.
Gromit is always looking for a dog that is fast and smart and has a smile on their face. Most of the time he walks around and greets other dogs happily with a sniff or a play bow - he likes to play games and he loves to run. He greets a dogs that run fast, have wheels, are older, big or small - and he greets them all with a unique greeting meant only for that dog. I think Big Bird would greet all children from all walks of life and places - remember his first visit to China where he traveled and made a cool video? Gromit isn't perfect but he does try hard and learns with each dog he meets. Every once in a while he will greet a dog that runs away in fear - he doesn't run after them. If a dog growls he will run back to me.
Gromit is soft and traipses along and sometimes has a worry but most of the time not a worry. He will help out however he can, and often has ideas that are floating around and waiting to be acted on until I am in bed fast asleep.
It is only in the morning when the garbage can has been drug out of the pantry or the spatula from the stove is lying on the floor under my piano or cans of empty cat food are stacked in the office - that I realize Gromit thought we were playing a game and I hope he wasn't lonely playing alone. Big Bird didn't play alone and neither should Gromit!
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