My Day at the Spa by Chewibaka of Bugtussle

Hey everyone - my name is Chewbaka of Bugtussle - I come from the hills of Tennessee and am son to Kramer and Hannah, brother to gentle Tater and the good & mighty Nero. Yes you can spell my mom's name forward and backward and it works out the same - can you dig it? From the childhood days of romping with other puppies and 7 other dogs in the back yard of T - I brought the chivalry and loyalty known to all Labradors to my people in Minnesota. I also have the poodle charm and intelligence and have been known to pick up the hearts of even our aged senior cats, who, believe me, need a little lightness on occasion. I am always on the look out for my next meal and any sign of a tennis ball. Some believe I was secretly trained by Good Housekeeping as a safety inspector and hold the seal of approval in my right front paw. I proudly say no, it is all in my genetics and well if you know my people, you would understand why someone in the house needs to keep the focus and pay attention - Heidi loses things frequently, and that my friends is why I have several tennis balls secreted away in the back yard. Further more, there are so many obstacles that could easily break a bone or maybe cause death if not noted and carefully observed while daintily waking around them - like say the brush on the stairs, the pop can on the floor, or worst of all the wobble board that Heidi tries to get me on all the time - good grief!

Well after 3 years and 11 months (my birthday is coming..) I received a bit of gratification for all my sincere dedication (sometimes known as stubbornness). Don't get me wrong I have appreciated the attempt to make grooming more palatable to me. I appreciate the fact that the last groomer sent a Sherpa out to the car to carry me into the grooming salon. If only H or K could have fanned me while I was making my entrance into the salon. Yes, my people tried the mobile groomer and it was okay but a little expensive. Then they tried the home grooming. Now this has been a very interesting experience. K composed a song that she sings on the days I get groomed - "It's a Chewie Ham Shower, ham shower, ham shower - it's a Chewie ham shower..." I convinced Heidi that I am so wary of that shower that Heidi has taken to purchasing cold cuts to lure me into the shower. Heheheh . So that was okay but then K puts me up on a table in the dining room and uses those shears and it takes two to three sittings sometimes days until she is done and she is never ever satisfied with how I look. My opinion, I am no better at retrieving balls after being bathed and groomed, none of the dogs at the dog park smell me as much when I have that herbal essence in my coat, and frankly I find I need to roll in the grass more often after one of those baths.

Well, let me tell you - this week we tried a new grooming salon. I heard the intake lady talking about a spa package and I thought to myself - PEOPLE, MY PEOPLE, don't do it? Have I yet to apply my paw of approval on the tubs at this Wendy's Dog Grooming place - did you see that giant plastic poodle in the store window - what the hell - Heidi no...I think it was the organic shampoo and paw paste that sold her. Woe always me? I hear her saying something about how Gromit could never tolerate a paw massage - he gets out of everything!

In the end - Wowsa - this place was amazing. Sure they still had to have the bath and drier - but I was assigned a girl in a pink coat. They soaked me in a tub and massaged my feet used a special dremel. Next time I am going to ask for a cigar and some ham to go with it, more bubble bath and a few candles. Maybe they could turn on the Westminster show while I am soaking. Then they gave me a massage. I don't think it was Swedish but oo la la! I was so relaxed by the time I got out of that place - I lazed around dreamily all night. I would recommend it to all dogs. My one and ONLY complaint - no one composed and sang my own personal song for me - Ham, shower, ham shower, its a Chewie ham shower.