The Training Sessions -

So I took Gromit to his first Agility Trial in about 6 months. It didn’t go so well for either one of us. Hmm, seeds of fertile opportunity presented themselves to us? Nah – I have some other thoughts about this –

The truth is I was not so sure about this trial stuff but I was encouraged by a friend who got me into this sport in the first place. It is fun to do together and she thought it was time I got back out in the circuit. I think Gromit and I short circuited at the trial and I wish I could go back and do it all over again, but I can’t. Thank goodness dogs don’t hold grudges .

Gromit and I have stopped trialing so I can learn how to handle him and so he can learn to pay attention to me. I am not so sure that I have the right focus for Gromit. After attending the Suzanne Clothier workshop I realized wanted to do some more observing with Gromit and practice empathy a little more. You know – like seeing the world as much as possible from Gromit’s paws…She talks about Relationship Centered Training and part of this was asking some elemental questions and in finding the answers you may deepen the interaction with animals. Here are the questions but I wouldn't begin to try to explain how to answer the questions - she is an expert and discussed these for the day that I was at her seminar. I learned a lot about observing dog behavior but one day is like touching the surface of an ocean of knowledge. It kept pretty much every ounce of my attention fro the day. I really enjoyed her presenation, stories, and ability to come back to focus on the topic.
Hello
How is this for you
Who are you
May I
Can you
Can we

I did secure a private session with Gromit to ask for individual assistance in my relationship with Gromit. I wanted to continue to try to see what Gromit experiences and make his quality of life better. I felt especially encouraged that I could do that. One of the last things she said to me – “I like your relationship, it is a nice relationship, yeah.” I have such a lack of trust with people in authority positions, but I did feel like for the first time someone really looked at Gromit, saw Gromit, was interested in what Gromit wanted and not in managing Gromit. In fact, I felt at some point like I wanted to leave fast so I could just sit with Gromit . I remember thinking, okay this is enough information, I am not that smart, let me just take this and work with it. Reminded me of a couples counseling session when you hit a new level in the relationship because you can see the other person and it touches you so strongly. Suddenly being right doesn’t matter as much as being connected with this other being. When you are ready to leave the office but the therapist feels like you should get your whole hour. I wanted to say I paid for 45 minutes but I just got a whole lot in 25 minutes – I am good, in fact, I don’t want to lose what you just said to us and I wanna leave now, while I feel this connected to Gromit so I can hang on to it.

So then I go to the day long workshop with all these trainers – I forgot that I am just there to be a better trainer with my own dogs but there are people there that are making their living with this work. The day went very fast and I learned a lot. I tried a lot on in my head with Gromit. We observed a total of 5 dogs during the morning and afternoon sessions. I thought that was a lot, but maybe it is because I have not studied this stuff before.

Here is how a couple of questions went for me –
Heidi – C’mon big dog, let’s get you out of that kennel and go play. Gromit comes out of the kennel like a butterfly leaving a cocoon –
Gromit – ahhh, I can breath and move
Heidi – Hey buddy how is this for you?
Gromit quickly replies – well, wha –, I don’t know, how is this for YOU?
Heidi – No Gromit, I am trying to figure out how this is for you and stay out of trouble, someone always has some rule I don’t know about and they give me a stern talking to about something, I am just waiting for what it will be this time…how is this for you?
Gromit – hey did you see that huge fan up there, what the heck, let’s look at that for a minu….oh, the barking in this place, heidi who is this guy that is waving his hands at me and walking into towards us ? (Gromit goes on alert and backs up and the guy keeps coming and then starts waving his hands at his side indicating we should move back and Gromit stiffens a bit and I try to leave the area but the guy starts talking to me and I can’t figure out what is more important paying attention to Gromit or understand what this guys wants us to do – Gromit started pulling into his body and getting ready to bark )
Heidi – Gromit sit, gromit shake, gromit watch me - distract, focus – focus back on me
Gromit – okay, sit – how is this for (Offers a paw to me) you, oh, there’s Karen and Reba(offers me eye contact) I am a little stiff –
And so it went – we really couldn’t get to the ‘can we’ questions which was the one I needed for the trial.

The thing about this training with Suzanne Clothier made me think about how people are with each other – why don’t we say hello more and observe how this is for other people – I know that whenever I try to see something from another persons view point I might not agree but at least we are actually sharing a space together instead of trying to push more space between us. I imagine the way it would be in the world if more people invited people do participate instead of bossing each other around…while Suzanne talks about respect I remember thinking Gromit looked so much softer even at the trial in the midst of all the activity and my own nervous chaos– I wasn’t ever mad or frustrated – just trying to figure out what we could do together. We have more days to do things together – stay tuned I am sure there is a lot more time for can we – we are getting there.